“If you want to make God laugh tell Him about your plans” ~ Woody Allen
I often share this particular story about one of the most difficult times in my life when I’m teaching a workshop or speaking at a live event. This experience isn’t something I’m proud of, but it was the catalyst that has landed me to where I am today—as a spiritual teacher, best-selling author, speaker and one of the happiest people I know. Looking back on this situation with the wisdom I’ve acquired since then, I could’ve handled this ordeal quite a bit differently—-and hindsight is always 20/20. So as my journey continues towards understanding how the spiritual laws of the Universe continue to govern our existence, I can honestly say that a Higher Power is generous when providing valuable experiences required to awaken our hearts, connect with our internal wisdom and heal our soul if we choose to do so.
As long as you’re breathing, you’re perpetually learning, growing, healing and expanding into a deeper Consciousness. Each path is unique— and within your personal journey into discovering who you are, your heart and soul will be provided with unwavering strength and the courage to live your highest expression when you fully allow Guidance to lead you on a moment to moment basis. Your life will either expand or contract based upon the consistency of your thoughts and the choices you’ll make. As a wise teacher once mentioned to me when I was seeking spiritual solutions amid utter confusion, “Take advice that works for you and leave the rest. This is your life.”
What’s your Story??
We all have a “story” and there is value in your story because your story has assembled the life you’re living today; whether it be good, bad or the ugly. So in relying my personal thoughts, and with the utmost respect and humility, “You may not have been dealt the ideal ‘hand of cards’ throughout your life, but you do get to choose how you wish to play them from this day forward.” You can either use your history as a stepping stone to cultivate your success or you can permit your past to greatly influence your relationships, your career and your overall state of emotional health and well-being. History has the tendency to repeat itself; and unless you take the time to reflect, contemplate and heal; yes heal THYSELF, chances are, you will unconsciously fall back into habitual patterns of self-sabotage. It’s one thing to become cognizant of your behaviors and it’s another to connect with the seat of your soul and heal your life. “To know yourself is to heal Thyself.”
My Story: It’s time to “wake up!”
As I was unconsciously moving through the motions of life; unbeknownst to me, the Universe had other plans….
“I was driven to the edge of self-destruction only to awaken to the realization that the key to happiness, peace and success exists in who I decide to become.”
For 3 1/2 years, I was in a relationship with someone who was my greatest teacher. I learned everything that I wanted within a partnership and everything I didn’t. And then the day came when my soul was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and my life warranted a Divine intervention.
No doubt about it, I was forced to confront mastering the lesson of “Letting Go”—of EVERYTHING. I had NO THING in the external world that proved I was or would be successful, ever again. My circumstances were: the loss of my business, my pets, (except Trigger, my horse) and my relationship–all of which died (literally and figuratively) within a few months of each other and I was forced to practice a central concept in the Buddhist philosophy known as detachment.
As I was getting into the bathtub one morning my eyes caught my body’s reflection in mirror….and I stopped. I hesitated because it dawned on me that the image I was witnessing felt as if I was looking at a complete stranger. That’s right. It was my face, but somehow, someway, I wondered “Who is that person?” It was apparent that I’d forgotten who I was, what I stood for and how to speak my truth until…..
While sitting in the tub I began to feel a roaring fire beginning to brew in the pit of my stomach. My gut was twisting and turning and within minutes I felt myself being launched out of the water. It felt as if I were being pushed and the words that I had suppressed for years required a voice. I was on a mission to say something, not knowing what, but found myself marching upstairs to have a conversation with my boyfriend (now my ex.) I looked at him and said, “I’m leaving.” Short and simple, right? And he replied, “Great. I’ll help you pack your bags.” (Please allow me to add, this “grand finale” happened after years of endless arguments, tears and heartache. We were both finally aware that our relationship wasn’t meant to “go the distance” and our time was up!)
With my car packed and $10 bucks to my name, I drove away from my house and thought to myself, “Where in the hell am I going to go now?” Sure, I could have chosen to make a few phone calls and ask for help from family and friends, but this time I needed to figure out these “issues” on my own and refocus on my priorities; but first, re-identify what those were!
I was mad. Mad at myself. Mad at my partner, but more importantly, I was mad at God because I felt like He no longer loved me. I’m not going to lie. I threw a temper tantrum and began to cuss and swear like nobody’s business as I was driving towards the city park to pitch a tent and spend the night. Did this life altering choice mean I’d be living “homeless” for a day, a month or a year, perhaps? I didn’t know—- but I was willing to take my chances and pay the consequences.
As the reality of being “homeless” began to set in….
I started to cry uncontrollably…
I pulled my car over to the side of the road ..…
The tears continued…
The energy in the car began to change. It felt as if the world had stopped spinning. Perfect stillness. The “essence” was soothing, dense and extremely Present—and a sense of peace rushed over my entire body…
I re-started my car and proceeded to drive forward….
A few seconds later…
A powerful Force took control of my steering wheel….
And within minutes, I found myself parked in front of a house that looked familiar, but unsure of whose it was.…
I walked to the front door and knocked…
A woman answered. And to my surprise it was my very first client in my healing business who had always told me, “If I ever needed a place to hang my hat, I’d always be welcome in her home.”
So there I was, in her house, and beginning my life over again…(for the 3rd time)
Sitting in a room with two twin beds I began having a conversation with God. I asked, “What can I do to change my life?”
And these instructions were undeniably conveyed:
1. You are going to take total responsibly for healing yourself and your life.
2. You are going to make peace with your past. You are going to see everyone as your teacher and consciously apply the wisdom you’ve gained from each experience.
3. You are going to be grateful for your life.
4. And then, you are going to write a book and share your experiences.
I replied, “I’ll do it, but I need proof that I’m actually on the ‘right’ path. So here’s my request:”
1.To have my book placed on the shelves in the local book stores and Mile Hi Church.
2. To be on the bestsellers list.
3. To get Dr. Wayne Dyer’s endorsement.
So from “this” place of total surrender and a willingness to listen and act, I was able to consciously rebuild my life from the ground -up and the inside- out.
Did the process of working on myself and writing a book happen overnight? Heck no! It was a course in demonstrating Love, compassion, forgiveness, and kindness to myself and others; and then I was given the opportunity to press the “RINSE & REPEAT” button and do it over again and again!
To this day, I’ve finally come to the understanding that the cycle of healing never ceases, but the process may become less arduous when putting your ego aside and allowing God to lead.
During my healing transformation, I spent a lot of time being alone and became discerning on how I shared my time and energy. I allowed myself to “work” through the myriad of emotions that demanded attention; and from that point I was made well aware that filling any void with a quick fix was nonsense.
I began to change my life through facing my fears and shedding the light on every single one of those suckers! It was no secret that the emotions hidden deep within my subconscious mind were keeping me distant from the “things” that I truly desired for myself—-happiness, peace and inner freedom. Truth be told, there wasn’t anything fun about confronting myself in the mirror, but since then, the rewards (internally & externally) have been priceless— AND my “3 goals” have been accomplished.
So now, when a client comes into my office and says, “How do I change my life? My world is falling apart. My relationship is over. My business isn’t working,” whatever their story is— my response is, “Great. You are finally at a place in your life when you’re willing to listen to the sacred voice within your soul and honor yourself. Let’s get to work on healing YOU!”
So if you shall ever find yourself in the place of feeling “stuck” and/or hopeless and without a clue on where to begin, remember ….
We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein
Stop. Chill out. Command your mind to be silent. Breathe. It’s nearly impossible to hear Wisdom in the midst of chaos. And then…from a “space of calm,” ask for Guidance.
Trust that the Light will shine upon your next step…..
Be willing to take the next step…..
P.S. My new goals: (And being flexible with how I achieve them:))
- Publish children’s books: #TriggerTails …
- Complete my 2nd “inspirational” book…
- Continue to feel GOOD and BE Happy!!
BTW….Did I mention I want to meet Oprah, also!!??? 🙂