Tag Archives: therapy

Relationships! How to gracefully “get through” a Change with your significant other.

Change in life is inevitable, but remembering to “Unconditionally Love yourself and others” through the process can directly influence the end result.  You ALWAYS have the ability to uplift the spirit of those around you through offering the smallest gestures and making conscious choices.

{I’ve not only “lived” these words (and some lessons learned the hard way) but I’ve also watched them “play out” in the lives of those around me…..recognizing that the message that we teach is often the Universe’s reminder of our own consciousness.}

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Conversation with the lady sitting next to me at breakfast.

Me: Big week ahead of you?

Lady: Yes. My divorce will hopefully be final. I’ve spent a ton of money on court costs. My soon to be ex-husband is such a jerk. He’s so irritating. We argue about everything. Who knows how he will act in courtroom. Probably like a a$$, as usual. I’m so angry about it all.

Me: I understand. Change sucks and can be painful while you’re in the middle of it.

Lady: How do you handle a situation when you just want it to end?

Me: Well.. I’ve tried 2 approaches. Both being successful depending how you perceive it. The first approach was the: Anger, resentment, guilt and shame approach which was a waste of time, silly and worthless. It didn’t get me anywhere— except more suffering. Then I tried the second approach: Loving my way through it. Loving myself, the other person, and the entirely of the situation. I resisted nothing. I learned to accept the way it is. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t speak up for myself. But with each step, I moved with conscious courage, and I no longer allowed myself to operate from a “victim mentality;” therefore, allowed me to stand strong on my own 2 feet—plus I took responsibility for 100% of my behaviors.

So in my opinion, if you really want to “get back” at your husband— love him like never before. Authentic, pure and unconditional. He won’t know what happened to him, or you!!! And when YOU no longer stoop to his level, the energy that you are emanating is really the best revenge. Try it. All YOU have to do is to be willing to dig into the depths of your own heart…

Lady: Well…. but…..that seems like it would be impossible for me to do.

Me: Yeah.. I understand. And it might be beyond your mind’s ability at this point in time. So allow for your inner Light to do “the work,” and you focus on staying centered and getting your ego/personality out of the way. The Light can be much more efficient when you’re not setting up barriers that prevent the Essence from transforming your life. But you will have to do your share which is to intensely hold the Presence in the moment. Hey…I didn’t say it will be easy, but what I am saying is that it can be done if you are willing .

Lady: I will be all alone in the court room

Me: No you won’t

Lady: What do you mean?

Me: Take God with you.

Lady: I can do that?

Me: Why wouldn’t you? The absolute truth is that God is everywhere, and in everything. He’s the best resource YOU will ever have in YOUR LIFE…just ask. And use intention when you ask for help. And then, again, do your best to get “out of the way” and trust in the process. When you infuse Unconditional Love into any situation, it will always work out in your favor.

Lady: Sitting quietly …. I will.

Me: My breakfast is awesome …..

Namaste:)

The advice I was given when having a Conversation with God–“Turn on the Light”

Last week I was invited to speak at a private healing retreat to give an “In-Spirit-ational” talk and teach a half-day workshop. As I prepared to share an array of pragmatic skills and/or techniques I’ve acquired from studying with gurus from around the world; I also have a clear understanding that often times during a conversation, I’ll be inspired to contribute a story about my “Extra-ordinary” teachings that have provided me with valuable insights.

During the lecture, one of the participants stood up to ask the question, “Why can’t I change my life? I’ve hired the best coaches. I’ve read all the spiritual books. I’ve tried positive thinking—and nothing works! I’m out of hope. My business sucks, my marriage is over, and to top it off, I crashed my motorcycle last week. So what can I do to fix my life??”

In that moment, there wasn’t a hesitation in my mind that this man was experiencing a tremendous amount of pain —knowing he was in the midst of self-transformation. He was being given the opportunity to master inner aspects of himself that were manifesting in his external world. This was his golden opportunity to “dig” deep into the vastness of his heart —grow as a spiritual being having a human experience and heal his life from the inside out.

I could feel this man’s angst. I know because I’ve been there, too. There was a time when my life was a complete train wreck and there wasn’t anything comfortable about feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. But in retrospect, this was the “perfect storm” for me to become aware of the choices I was consciously or unconsciously creating. These were the moments for me to get brutally honest with myself, my life, and build an unwavering relationship with the Source of Truth.

But before I responded to him, I took a deep breath, made eye contact and said, “You might want to sit down for this. I have an “out-of-the-box” encounter that I’d like to share you. Are you willing to have an open mind and listen?” He nodded yes and proceeded to sit.

I then said, “I may not have your answer but what I do know is this: When your life is no longer working for you, beating yourself up or pointing fingers ridden with guilt, anger and resentment is NEVER the answer. But what WILL raise you out of this conundrum is to add more “Light” to your unanswered questions and greatest fears.  In fact, add more authenticity. More integrity. More Unconditional Love. Add more God into everything. Choosing to pour these essential ingredients into your life will energetically shift the frequency of who and what you attract; therefore, changing the quality of your daily experiences.

****And… I would like to share with you a personal, mystical experience that was my “wake-up” call in knowing this.  During one of the darkest moments in my life, literally, I spent more time ruminating in fear, and in victim mode than I did dwelling in Love and gratitude—-and my attitude was about to get an “Inspired” adjustment.****

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This happened one morning while I sitting at the foot of my bed having one of my many conversations with God…. (Yes, I talk to God.)

God: Are you going to open the curtains this morning?

Me: Nope. I’m going to choose to sit in the dark.

God: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

End of conversation.

I then stood up, took a shower, got dressed, walked down the stairs and out the front door.

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8pm that evening:

I arrived at home after a long day of running in circles being a “chaotic busy body.” As I ventured up the stairs and into my bedroom, right before my eyes was an “Awe-inspiring Ta-Da” moment! Every light was turned on full-blast, and beaming towards the middle of the room. Yes, I know, crazy, huh? But Truth stopped me dead in my tracks and humbled me like no other.

Me: (In my best grumpy voice) “Really? What is this about?”

God: “We thought we would add light to your situation.”

End of story.”

This Magnificent experience was a game changer for me because I was being forced to shift my way of thinking, followed up with mindful actions. My given challenge was to shed more light where there was a shadow of a doubt. Period.

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After I shared this story in the workshop, of course, there were a few participants who looked at me with a stare of disbelief; but then there were those who didn’t. The Light turned on.

As my mentor once told me, “Thank God for those of us who are cracked because we are the ones who let the Light in.”

Namaste,

Angela

P. S. If you should ever find yourself sitting in a room full of darkness, the answer is: Turn on the Light. 🙂