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Focus and Connect.   Those were my instructions.  

August 30th

One day my body was feeling fine and the next day I could barely get out of bed.  

It all began on a Sunday when I woke up with a migraine. Having a migraine was a new thing for me, but since Sunday is the day when I need to feed Trigger in the am and pm, staying in bed wasn’t an option.  But after I got to the barn, it was apparent I  could barely stand up, much less carry a water bucket. I did my best to hurry and leave.  I knew that I needed to find help immediately.  

The doctors at Urgent Care couldn’t find anything wrong with me, but gave me meds for the migraine and told me to rest.  I hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning so thought maybe my blood sugar was off and drove to the  grocery store. But once I’d parked, I realized I didn’t have the physical strength to go inside. My body was weak. I sat in my car with tears in my eyes and asked God to drive me home.

He did.  Within moments, the pain in my arms subsided which allowed me to put my hands on the wheel and focus on the road. 

When I returned home, I was out of energy knowing that I had a chiropractic treatment the following day and my hope was that maybe he could fix me. 

When I got to my chiroprator’s office Monday morning he looked in my eyes and said  “what is wrong with you”?  After all, I walked into his treatment room after bumping into numerous walls and doors.  His first impression was that I had a stroke and sent me to the hospital.  

A friend came to pick me up. After 8 hours of being poked by needles, a MRI’s  and Cat scan, the doctors still couldn’t determine there was anything wrong with me.  

Over the next few days I drove myself to 2 additional hospitals.  More MRI’s and CAT scans,  but the results came up with nothing and no clear direction about my health. At the end of day, all I can remember is that my head and body was in a tremendous amount of pain, and to top it off, I received a phone call that Trigger’s back legs started to weaken and needed to be put in a small pen so that the vet could monitor him. 

 Wondering what am I going to do next,  I laid on my living room floor.  Within seconds, my face began to feel “funny” and a tingling sensation began to overwhelm me.   I got up to look in the bathroom mirror.  Before my eyes, I began to witness the right side of my face literally begin to droop and become paralyzed. Bell’s Palsy was taking over and I was watching it change before my eyes.

I was really scared.

I dropped down and laid on the floor and began to cry,  “What the heck is happening to me? God what do I need to do?”  

God: “what do you know how to do”

Me: help people heal

God: how do you do that?

Me: through spiritual connection and focus

God: then do it for yourself. 

I recited Psalm 91. 

God then told me to “call Jill.” I had forgotten until that moment that my friend, Jill, was married to a MD.  I picked up the phone and dialed her number. I wasn’t sure if she’d be able to understand my speech because half of my face wasn’t “working” properly but I had no choice. Jill answered and told her husband to take to me.  Him and I face-timed and thankfully he immediately knew what was happening in my body and pointed me in a wise direction for seeking medical attention.  

Modern medicine is a great thing, and so is the power of prayer. Without the prayer and willingness to listen, I’m not sure if I’d be able to adequately hear the guidance in taking the next step.

Now granted, I did what I needed to do. No alcohol, no sugar, vitamins, acupunture, sleep, meditation and I remained focused on healing.  I did not feed the fears.  I couldn’t because if I did, I knew I would perish.  

I feel incredibly lucky and blessed. My face healed within one week, which the doctor said was practically unheard of because of the severity of the Bell’s Palsy.  

There is no doubt of the multiple life lessons in this experience.  But if there is one thing I know for certain is  that I will not get out of bed in the morning until I thank God for my heath.  

 So what occurred that forced my body to “stop?”

It was a combination of external circumstances.  At the end of the day, my doctor told me it was a virus caused by stress.  Between the Colorado fires, air quality, my daily schedule and the chaos of watching the news/media, my body had become overly sensitive and forced to shut down.  Paralyzed in fact.  Soul preservation is real.  

The last few months have reminded me of this basic Truth: Once fear and doubt have a way to permeate your mind, these forces won’t stop wrecking havoc on your body and spirit until they destroy it.

Connect and focus. Focus on the Light standing in the midst of darkness.

The Good news is: The power to heal is within your own mind, knowing that God has the final word.   

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